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01 November 2008

DVD and Cinema features I hate

I loved this comment from Clarke Ching's blog on "Things I would do if I were president of the world". This one comes in at #2.

I'd recall every single DVD player ever sold and get the manufacturers to add a "skip the shite" button which takes you straight past all the unwanted adverts, the insults and accusations that you may be a thief, and any sort of fancy, self-indulgent DVD-designer stuff. I buy the DVD to watch the movie or TV show ... not to be told I'm a thief. I'd also force movie theatres to put up a 10 second message which says, "Hey, you paid to watch this movie, so you're probably not a thief! Thanks! We appreciate your business and hope you enjoy this movie".


See also DVD forced advertising hell.

The "don't be a pirate" clips at the start of DVDs really did themselves proud when they warned me of the risks of watching a pirate DVD that might have been taped in a cinema and could have people standing up and getting in the way in the movie. Well done guys, you've just advertised a really good reason why I shouldn't go and see movies at all.

I would add another rule. I would require every entertainment outlet such as cinemas that is paranoid that you must only eat THEIR food in the cinema that in return the cinema is required to provide a wider range of food such that if you have to eat particular foods for dietary or religious reasons that you can actually either bring your own food or eat healthy food bought in the cinema. Currently the only options at the cinema seem to be "eat popcorn", "drink this unhealthy juice with lots of sugar in it", "eat these bags of sweets by the sackload", "have a hot dog (meat eaters only)" or "go hungry".

Pubs woke up to the food revolution about 30 years ago. When are cinemas going to catch up?

Craig

Craig

1 comment:

Julie said...

Craig - we're that family. You know the ones that break the 'terms and conditions' and take a full home made meal into the cinema to annoy other cinema goers with?

We're veggie so we don't do hot dogs, the nachos make you ill and the popcorn is as useful as pillow stuffing - and probably not as nutritious.

So what we do is cook roast or jacket potatoes, filo tarts, anything portable and hot, wrap it up in aluminium foil and sneak it in under our coats.

We then simultaneously make the rest of the audience very annoyed with our noisy unwrapping, and make them very hungry with smells of good home-cooked food.

Sometimes we buy cinema ice cream - it is Ben and Jerry's after all, and I have been known to enjoy a cappuccino from the bar. And there's another thing - add that to the price of admission and it costs about £40 for three of us....

We've never been challenged by any staff members. They're all too busy huddling in corners to discuss their social lives and ignore their customers.

(Did I just turn into Mrs Victor Meldrew?)

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